Week 2 Facebook-Free and Dog-in-water-tank Drama

 This week was my first real full week off Facebook – like last week, I found I had to pop in now n then to do something business or learning related and this week I took a different approach when I had to do this: I took a moment to scroll quickly though notifications to see if anything important was going on because personally, I have never seen wisdom in turning news about your community and world completely off: 

Frigate soars at sunset (fjc)

I know a cadre of guru-wisdom says that you should cut off the outside world and not waste your focus and energy on issues (like Trump, Brexit, Nuclear War, Pearl of the Caribbean) that you can’t control. But this ‘wisdom’ urges us to focus in a very self-absorbed manner, only interacting with the world in ways that directly align with the personal benefits you are channelling. For me, much of my success goals are about creating a life where I feel good, and this of necessity, entails a world where less strife and discord sully my days. I get satisfaction from investing some of my time in doing my little personal actions: they may not, in isolation, be much, but a river becomes powerful if fed by many small tributaries, right?

So, I kept an eye this week and sent private messages to those I felt needed action and left the rest to be responded to on my Sunday Facebook-wallowing session. But I found myself less and less keen to even pop on because I really was reaping the rewards of focusing inwards. Yessiree!

There is a lot to be said for at least an occasional stint as a hermit with a purpose.

But then some other aspects of the week had me looking forward to my Sunday Facebook time: I found myself ‘enjoying’ a real small-island-experience as on top of the horrible heat and humidity, my water tanks ran dry due to weeks without supply from the water company and the repair bill on my 15 year-old car grew rapidly out of control! And to top it off, just as I started to post this, one of my 3 rescue dogs, the oldest and heaviest and stiffest of course, fell into the open underfloor tank! Oh lawdy, lawdy! I am now adorned with very minor scratches on my elbows, shoulders and knees from carrying, pushing, persuading her up the ladder I popped in the tank - ie taking each foot and manipulating it onto progressively higher steps while I tried to squeeze myself up through the rough concrete edges of the opening. Well she was terrified stiff! That is until she got out then she was all wiggly and happy and excited and I was left to 'lick my wounds'! Gotta love'em, right?!? Well, it was my fault really, poor thing, I had left a temporary cover and how was she to know it would give way? So I treated myself to a warm bucket bath, as you do when there's no water in your pipes...

So, back to this morning. Staying true to my schedule, post coffee and breakfast, I dutifully armed myself with a big smoothie and prepared for the soothing mud of Facebook to ease away the week’s stress and strains…

Can I say I found it far from the promised land?

What I think I’m finding is that if you have a couple thousand friends on Facebook, you can’t just dip in once a week and have it work its usual soothing magic! It felt more and more like a disturbance to my vibe than the integral part of my vibe that the daily stop by the ‘Facebook Café’ normally feels like….

hmmmmm….

So as the month of Facebook Sabbatical progresses, we’ll see how this goes. I suspect, like most things, moderation is the key...too much, too little and you're out of whack!

I know some of my other friends have taken Facebook sabbaticals, so I’m going to check in with them and see if they can shed some light on how it worked, didn’t work and felt to them and we’ll share them later on in another blog-post.

Growth and More Insights, or maybe just questions...

What growth and insights has this Facebook sabbatical offered me this week?

Well I finished up the 21^st Century Podcasts and added in a listen to the War of Art by Steven Pressfield of The Legend of Bagger Vance fame. Interesting book … a bit too full of other-worldly-beings for me, but the essential message vibed: We have to overcome the many ways in which we suffer resistance to our calling.

Art for Art's Sake?

However, much else of what he said just set off an internal discussion in my head over the merits of focusing on ‘artistic quality’ vs ‘entrepreneurial art’. This was echoed last weekend, by a friend posting an opinion piece from Ros Barber in the Guardian, where the author was all for the traditional seal of quality of getting a publisher or winning a Pulitzer and the commentors were rooting a bit more for the self-published, no gate-keeper team. 

• To claim success, is the acclamation of peers, or that of paying fans, of more value? Is a life of poverty because you’re being ‘true to your art’ something worthy, or does it miss the mark?
• Does writing, painting, making, need to be art, or is there an inherent and equal value in good craft? 
• Does appealing to the masses, vs the critics or your professional peers, necessarily mean you are ‘dumbing down’ your work? 
• Is it snobbish or true to art to crave recognition by the established ‘authorities’?

Ok, enough esoteric stuff. But do chime in with your thoughts on this 😊 Meanwhile…

Advice

If you’re a trainer, please prepare for the level of learners and ensure you update for any new tools available!!!:

This week I persevered with my Coding Websites course: It was a test of determination, as one day I hit a wall where, try as I might, I could not figure out the scant instructions! I was so annoyed at the course I even looked to see if I could still claim a refund, because it skipped way too fast from a little instruction to ‘you’re all on your own’ and to boot, didn’t have updated guidance that covered the method I was using (which they encouraged us to take advantage of). I did figure it out, with questions and help and research, and YES, it felt fabulous to figure it out…but I was also annoyed because a good course should provide realistic challenges after giving a sound grounding…so I felt an entire day was unnecessarily spent, where it should have been a few hours well-invested.

And in other news...

I fell reeelly reeelly short of my aim to take on that new diet! I succumbed to being a taster for my friend who’s trying to develop an improved recipe for a cake…oh the sacrifices we make!!! 😊 But I did manage to invest some more time in learning about what this particular challenge requires and in testing a recipe or two…nothing yet worth a recipe-post though ☹

In the Real World

Moonrise looking like sunrise courtesy my overly 'smart' camera (fjc)

I had a good few real-world wonderful meet-ups with friends and strangers this week - those are priceless! There were random, serendipitous and downright ‘ok maybe there’s something to the secret after all’ moments this week that did help to balance out those challenges and when I sit here now and reflect, it’s fair to say, I excelled at feeling far happier and more confident about the path I’m taking.

And that, my friends, I think is about the best we can all hope for from one day to the next, isn’t it?

Cheers now! And if I don’t see you today online, maybe I’ll see you on one of my Facebook mini-dips this coming week, or, or, or… in person!!! Now wouldn’t that be grand!

What’s the Buzz about?

under the Flambouyant Tree at Buzz Restaurant

The Courtyard at Buzz

Last night my friends and I went along to support the soft opening of the ‘New’ Buzz Restaurant in Rodney Bay. Buzz has been a standard on the list of restaurants in Saint Lucia for many years now, serving up South African-inspired cuisine in a beautiful open setting that spilled into the garden under a big beautiful flambouyant tree – my parents were friends with the owner Pat Bowden and had gone to her restaurants many times over the years. I admit, I had not gone to Buzz much…it was a bit pricy for my pocket at the time….so what’s changed?

Well, Pat has decided it’s time for her long, long stay in Saint Lucia to come to an end and she’s handed over to the charming Marisa Groenwald who has been her Manager for the past few years.

Marisa Groenwald, Buzz Restaurant

So Marisa has kept the hint of South Africa alive, but has given the place a pick-me-up of modern style and remixed the menu with some really delicious local flavours – most notable of the new appetizers we tasted last night were the Jerk Fish Breadfruit Tacos (gluten-free) – so good, they were gone before I could get a photo of them! And the Tamarind Spicy Chicken Wings – my choice. They were both definite winners – ones to go back for again! And from the more traditional Bar Bites Menu we were treated to the Famous Cheesy ‘Crack’ Break (one bite is all it takes!) and the Classic Bruschetta – both of which I could easily have feasted on all night too!

Tamarind Spicy Chicken Wings

The Menus

All in all, it was a lovely evening! Last night there was an eclectic mix of people enjoying the atmosphere – visitors to the island, local expats and embassy people and of course real, bona-fide locals and all sorts of Caribbean people who have made Saint Lucia home – I think this kind of atmosphere is what you can expect any evening you may visit: Friendly, relaxed, stylish, decent prices and mouth-watering flavours.

Buzz Restaurant walls showcase Saint Lucian Art: Shay Cozier

Oh! I almost forgot – Marisa has decided to decorate her lovely peaceful grey palate walls with featured artists – for the launch, Saint Lucian artist Shay Cozier’s work adorns the walls – each and every one is for sale. and the paintings are provided courtesy of Island Mix Café & Shop (near the Antillia Craft Brewery) in Rodney Bay, where you can find more authentic local arts, gifts, fashion and crafts along with a beautiful patio with a view of the marina and an ever-cooling breeze. 

www.facebook.com/Buzz-Restaurant-133670557065904                (758) 458-0450

www.facebook.com/CaribbeanIslandMix    (758) 584 7877

Inside Island Mix

Inside Island Mix

What’s the Buzz about?

under the Flambouyant Tree at Buzz Restaurant

The Courtyard at Buzz

Last night my friends and I went along to support the soft opening of the ‘New’ Buzz Restaurant in Rodney Bay. Buzz has been a standard on the list of restaurants in Saint Lucia for many years now, serving up South African-inspired cuisine in a beautiful open setting that spilled into the garden under a big beautiful flambouyant tree – my parents were friends with the owner Pat Bowden and had gone to her restaurants many times over the years. I admit, I had not gone to Buzz much…it was a bit pricy for my pocket at the time….so what’s changed?

Marisa Groenwald, Buzz Restaurant

Well, Pat has decided it’s time for her long, long stay in Saint Lucia to come to an end and she’s handed over to the charming Marisa Groenwald who has been her Manager for the past few years. 

So Marisa has kept the hint of South Africa alive but has given the place a pick-me-up of modern style and remixed the menu with some really delicious local flavours – most notable of the new appetizers we tasted last night were the Jerk Fish Breadfruit Tacos (gluten-free) – so good, they were gone before I could get a photo of them! And the Tamarind Spicy Chicken Wings – my choice. They both definite winners – ones to go back for again! And from the more traditional Bar Bites Menu we were treated to the Famous Cheesy ‘Crack’ Break (one bite is all it takes!) and the Classic Bruschetta – both of which I could easily have feasted on all night too!

Tamarind Spicy Chicken Wings

The Menus

All in all, it was a lovely evening – last night there was an eclectic mix of people enjoying the evening – visitors to the island, local expats and embassy people and of course real, bona-fide locals and all sorts of Caribbean people who have made Saint Lucia home – I think this kind of atmosphere is what you can expect any evening you may visit: Friendly, relaxed, stylish, decent prices and mouth-watering flavours.

Buzz Restaurant walls showcase Saint Lucian Art: Shay Cozier

Oh! I almost forgot – Marisa has decided to decorate her lovely peaceful grey palate walls with featured artists – for the launch, Saint Lucian artist Shay Cozier’s work adorns the walls – each and every one is for sale provided courtesy of Island Mix Café & Shop (near the Antillia Craft Brewery) in Rodney Bay, where you can find more authentic local arts, gifts, fashion and crafts can be found along with a beautiful patio with a view of the marina and an ever-cooling breeze. 

Inside Island Mix

Inside Island Mix

www.facebook.com/Buzz-Restaurant-133670557065904                (758) 458-0450

www.facebook.com/CaribbeanIslandMix    (758) 584 7877

Time is on my side, yes it is!

www.freeimages.com/photographer/herrschmid-44485

Ok, so last weekend I started unsubscribing from blogs, newsletters, Facebook page notifications…I thought it’d take me a couple hours on Sunday and I’d be done.

Well, not so fast chappy! I unsubscribed to a lot of things on Sunday – I had both Saturday’s and Sunday’s emails to deal with, and the 3 main emails I still use - but what I didn’t expect, was that I would still be going right up to this morning!!!!

So, guess how many I am up to at time of posting… no, I’m not going to tell you in the post, have a guess. One guess each and whoever comes closest first will get one of the few remaining 2016 Nature Calendars I have in stock and if you have one already, well, they make great gifts J

What shocked me is the realization of how much time I allowed to be eaten away each and every day in the task of keeping my inboxes clear. And how much negative energy I was adding to my day if I allowed all that undealt-with clutter to stay in my subconscious.

Let’s do a little math:

10 minutes first thing in the morning while you look at the titles and select those you know you won’t read and delete them.

www.freeimages.com/photographer/winjohn-50474

15 minutes while you half-read some of those you ‘want to’ / ‘should’ read

20 minutes every 3 days when one catches your attention and you dwivay (divert aimlessly) down a path that may or may not significantly improve your life.

In a week, that’s 70 + 105 + 60(ish) 

= 235 minutes or nearly 4 hours of life.

4 hours…that rings a bell…Tim Ferris and his famous ‘4 Hour Work Week’ book (which I am yet to read, I got the gist of it from various blogs, but maybe I should take a read…). Now, tell me, if the theory is that in 4 hrs a week it is possible to do enough targeted work to earn you a comfortable living, then why, oh why do so many of us let such a significant chunk of our lives fritter away?

Think what you could fill it in with:

“Oh! I wish I had time for the gym! L”

“Oh I wish I had time to learn to sail”

“Oh, where will I find the time to visit some of the exiting spots in my island/village/town/country…”

“One day I will find time to paint, read, swim, learn Spanish, go to my kids’ shows, clean my store-room, write my novel, adjust those clothes, learn golf…………………”

So, I have resolved to stop asking people carte blanche, to subscribe to my blog – by all means do if you feel it is going to be a worthy read that will help you move forward on your journey – I have kept a small selection of subscriptions for this purpose, but otherwise, do the more important things! 

I’ve chosen to invest some time in figuring what my own special priorities really, truly are and to concentrate on putting things in place, bit by little-step bit, to make those happen. As I talked about last Sunday, I have signed up with a coach, Debra Ross, "Life by Choice"  and we are setting do-able weekly to-do lists. This is allowing me to have ‘experiences of success’ and yes, it does feel pretty darn good! I realize I am still not fully comfy with my goal levels and progress, but I realize also that that is a part of the process, so I am not beating myself up over it J

In this process of figuring my priorities, I realized there was an unexpected blessing in the challenges of my 5-day a week job that has been a real tax on my energy – physical and mental: I stopped being able to do my art/craft/other pursuits because I couldn’t muster the energy to do things, and this unexpectedly, opened up a space for me to see my priorities in a very different light.

Ok, I’ve been on this journey of self-rediscovery for quite a few years now and I’m sure that helped, but what happened was I found that as I lounged or went to bed early tired, but could not sleep, my mind wandered all over the place, thinking, wanting, yearning, being pissed, annoyed, occasionally depressed, over all that I was losing, what I felt I couldn’t do anymore.  

What this process allowed was that I gradually, (over a couple of years, but I’m sure it can be done fasterJ), figured out what I really wanted to do: I no longer ‘had’ to do these things to survive – I have a decent salary, that part is definitely a blessing of the day-job, so now it became purely a ‘what do I REALLY want to do’ and that question applied whether I went the path of keeping the day-job or moving forward to a new version of being self-employed.  So when Debra came along with her coaching – it fitted very nicely in to what I was almost unconsciously already doing myself. Now, with the coaching, it has much more definite focus.

Also, per a convo I had today: Don’t buy into that crap that you have to be all positive feeling and big goals all the time – positive affirmations are good, but ONLY if you are really ready to buy into the positivity, otherwise, if the bar it set too high, they can just seem like one more unattainable goal and big reason to beat up on yourself for ‘not being good enough’. Allow yourself to be occasionally sad, mad, depressed about something, recognize the feeling, respect that it exists and see if you can let yourself find some learning from it. Maybe permission to accept you don’t like something, maybe realization that you are asking too much of yourself or trying too hard to be what someone else says you should be…take it one teeny step at a time if you need to and know that sometimes, being still for a while neither moving forward or backward, just ‘being’ is just fine too.

So, Sunday morning finds me still a little un-used to the dearth of emails to deal with in my inboxes. It does give me a good feeling, but I am yet to really effectively reorganize my day to make best use of the time I now have. I can say I HIGHLY recommend doing this though. It is very cathartic and I know in the big picture it is worth a huge amount: I will put this new time I have to good use! 

Me n Suzie on top Pigeon Point - time well spent!

Time is so precious and modern life has so many ways of helping us waste it. Take what is yours back and do just one little thing you really want to do instead.

Don’t forget to put in your guess for the number of unsubscribes I have done! And if you do the same yourself, please do share your feelings on what it did/didn’t do for you J

PS I am not being paid to talk about Debra's coaching - I just genuinely feel this journey is a good story to share with you all and the coaching is part of it, so don't be put off by thinking I'm going the 'paid promo-blog route' I'm not, I am promoting her, but only because I think it's proving to be a very useful part of my journey.